Surviving The Storm

If you survive the storm there are beautiful things on the other side.  My life was a storm. My heart, my soul, my thoughts, my words and my actions were evidence of chaos and destruction. The proverbial calm inside the storm eluded me for many, many years but something happened to me recently.  Against all odds, something bloomed inside.  It wasn't a case of sudden clarity and understanding.  It didn't happen all at once. It's been slow and calm and deliberate. It's been the beauty of raindrops settled on a flower after the storm has passed.  It is something I feel and know without being able to explain it to others. It's something that makes breath a little bit easier. It makes smiles a bit more frequent and makes contentment seem almost attainable.

I think that it is God. I think He has found a home inside my storm.  I think he has become that calm.  Why now?  Maybe it is just a readiness to except things unseen.  A readiness for faith. I love, love, love the word Grace! I have been perusing my bible daily for grace and as I'm sure you're aware... it is everywhere! My memory verse is in Ephesians 2:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Again, I can't seem to put into words what this passage from the bible means to me! I did nothing to deserve this new found calm, but God saw fit to bestow it upon me! For that I can not express enough gratitude in my daily prayers. It would seem that any expression of gratefulness would be woefully inadequate, however that doesn't stop me from saying thank you hundreds of times a day!

I can get up in the morning and not feel dread.  I can stick to a routine and try to make my home inviting, a sanctuary for my family. I can express love and admiration to my husband and my daughter.  I can sit for periods of time in the word and sincerely absorb the truths I am reading.

I want to be able to know why and express my change in demeanor but it is not something that I have words for.  It just is and that is Grace! God is filling me with a calm I have never felt. The storm that seemed to stir continuously for the 40 years I have been alive has formed a calm inside and everyday the destruction gets a little less. My heart and soul are grateful and I have found a faith that allows me to believe wholeheartedly that "This too shall pass!"


Chris Tomlin - Grace Rain Down on Me

Celtic Women - Amazing Grace