Tea With Jesus

 

I've often thought that a cup of tea, even more than coffee, enhances my daily time in the word. Maybe it is because porcelain tea cups and floral tea blends are so lovely and compliment the "life-giving" words of the bible so well and playing my favorite Christian music in the background makes early morning quiet time utterly perfect . I feel as though giving all of your senses something beautiful in one sitting is truly spiritual.

 

With this in my mind I've decided to begin a weekly series (Tea with Jesus) to rejuvenate my blog. I've been greatly inspired by my friend Stephanie at http://theenchantingrose.blogspot.com. Her blog, with its beautiful faith-filled content and her lovely teacup and mug exchanges, have brought a sense of beauty to my life. So, a special thanks to Stephanie!

 

Anatomy of Tea With Jesus

 

July 17, 2015

 

Tea ~ Harney & Sons Earl Grey Imperial, black, with a touch of sweetener

 

Music ~ Brokenness Aside, All Sons & Daughters

 

Scripture ~ The Book of Ephesians

Ephesians 1:7 ~ In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.

 

Thoughts ~ I lay my brokenness aside to dwell in the word of God. I ponder the words "redemption" and "grace" and what they mean for me. Indeed, they mean a New Life if I am willing to accept them.

Home School/Discipleship

POSTED ON NOVEMBER 21, 2014

Putting together this post became such an important task for me. I certainly thought that I would have had my first home schooling post done long before Thanksgiving. The journey has been such a monumental undertaking, such a whirlwind of trial and error, such a mish mosh of ideas and suggestions and finally such an unbelievable blessing that finding all the words has proven to be quite daunting.

I have truly tried to put together all of my thoughts and ideas in as logical and coherent a manner as possible. I’m sure there will be those days when I am ready to pull my hair out, when herbal tea and Mozart just don’t seem to do the trick when my anxiety and self-doubt will tell me it’s time to pick up those Lancaster Catholic enrollment forms and throw in the towel. I will be able come back to this post to remind myself why I took on the task of home schooling my 9th grade daughter, why this time and effort between mother and daughter is so vital.

Unfortunately my decision to home school my freshman daughter, Katie, was a last minute one. Last minute decisions are, at times, blessings and then at other times they just push you deeper into uncertainty. As our summer progressed I became more and more aware of Katie’s reluctance; her fear of facing her high school years in our local public school. Her anxieties and depression became nearly insurmountable as we came into August. We tossed around options such as private school and cyber school. But we had tried both of these options with less than favorable results.

I will try not to get on a soapbox here but my feelings regarding today's culture and children's education are strong and resolute. I question how one teacher (who may or may not have their whole heart in education) can be sure that 15 – 20 students are absorbing and understanding their lessons. I question how students are to learn and understand how to write a grammatically correct sentence when a computer will correct their grammar for them. I question how young ladies are to learn the skills needed to take care of their homes and their families when the related values and morals are no longer deemed high priority. I question how and why standardized tests can make or break a future. I could go on and on here. The more I pondered these things the surer I was that home school was the answer for Katie and I.

I thank God everyday that the circumstances of my life and my husbands allow me the time to home school. My decision to home school and my research began in the last two weeks of August. My research continued into the first weeks of home school and indeed still continues today even after the end of the first marking period.

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Disciple – One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.
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Early on in my research I came across many blog posts and articles discussing home schooling as discipleship. Looking at my day with Katie in this light has given me an inner peace. I feel as though I'm following God's plan for me as a mother and as a woman. For as many times as I have strayed from God's plan in my life this is a sure revolution for me! From this understanding springs a self-confidence that had previously been lacking. As I sit with her and instruct her in a lesson from beginning to end and I see her grasp the concept and hear her repeat it back to me I feel an overwhelming sense of pride in her and satisfaction with myself. I've done it!I've passed on something of use to the younger generation!

I have finally come to a definite decision regarding curriculum. After a marking period of trial and error we have settled on The Charlotte Mason way of home schooling.

As I study more and more of the tutorials and lesson plans on Ambleside Online I fall more and more in love with this approach to learning and teaching. Resources abound and I feel as though I just can’t soak it up fast enough! Things like living books and scripture memory and copywork and dictation… these are the perfect way for Katie to learn. This is how she learns and comprehends. The approach seems to have been tailor made for her learning style. It’s a joy and a blessing!

We can begin our day in the Word of the Lord. We can include a traditional home economics class. We can have tea and study poetry in the afternoon. We can learn from a book like Ourselves by Charlotte Mason. Katie has all the one-on-one time she needs. She is absorbing and she is comprehending using her own smarts rather than having a computer do the work for her.

It has taken me a marking period to fall into a groove and feel confident and sure in my home school endeavor but I am in the groove now. The next four years have the potential to be the most important in my life and in the life of my daughter. I feel fortunate. I feel blessed. I feel hopeful and I feel confident. As I share more about myself and our home school journey you will likely begin to envision how significant these feelings are!

And here is my precious girl!

Surviving The Storm

If you survive the storm there are beautiful things on the other side.  My life was a storm. My heart, my soul, my thoughts, my words and my actions were evidence of chaos and destruction. The proverbial calm inside the storm eluded me for many, many years but something happened to me recently.  Against all odds, something bloomed inside.  It wasn't a case of sudden clarity and understanding.  It didn't happen all at once. It's been slow and calm and deliberate. It's been the beauty of raindrops settled on a flower after the storm has passed.  It is something I feel and know without being able to explain it to others. It's something that makes breath a little bit easier. It makes smiles a bit more frequent and makes contentment seem almost attainable.

I think that it is God. I think He has found a home inside my storm.  I think he has become that calm.  Why now?  Maybe it is just a readiness to except things unseen.  A readiness for faith. I love, love, love the word Grace! I have been perusing my bible daily for grace and as I'm sure you're aware... it is everywhere! My memory verse is in Ephesians 2:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Again, I can't seem to put into words what this passage from the bible means to me! I did nothing to deserve this new found calm, but God saw fit to bestow it upon me! For that I can not express enough gratitude in my daily prayers. It would seem that any expression of gratefulness would be woefully inadequate, however that doesn't stop me from saying thank you hundreds of times a day!

I can get up in the morning and not feel dread.  I can stick to a routine and try to make my home inviting, a sanctuary for my family. I can express love and admiration to my husband and my daughter.  I can sit for periods of time in the word and sincerely absorb the truths I am reading.

I want to be able to know why and express my change in demeanor but it is not something that I have words for.  It just is and that is Grace! God is filling me with a calm I have never felt. The storm that seemed to stir continuously for the 40 years I have been alive has formed a calm inside and everyday the destruction gets a little less. My heart and soul are grateful and I have found a faith that allows me to believe wholeheartedly that "This too shall pass!"


Chris Tomlin - Grace Rain Down on Me

Celtic Women - Amazing Grace

Keeping It All In Perspective

Stinking Thinking
Keeping my daily relationship with God in the forefront I’ve been researching bible verses that could help envelope me in God’s word. As noted below, it would seem that the book of Ephesians holds a tremendous amount of encouragement for my particular struggles. I am starting an in-depth bible study and am endeavoring to memorize scripture. In recovery my affliction is called “stinking thinking”. My hope is that scripture memorization may prevail over “stinking thinking”, give me positivity to fill my mind with.

Ephesians 5:1-2
Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians 4:1-6
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Ephesians 5:6-12
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not become partners with them; 8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.

http://t.co/YXowHj3l7aSusan Ashton/Walk On

Becoming

At this point in my life I was hoping to be able be able to say “I am who I always wanted to be.” I’ve always had my ideal self in the front of my mind, but it has always been just shy of attainable.  I’ve made promises to myself and others of the resurrection of a triumphant soul but it has never quite come to pass.
I always have an image of triumph to hold onto in the eyes of my 15-year-old daughter.  My pregnancy and her birth and a short period of time after her birth were the most comforting and magical times I have experienced.  Unfortunately, my lack of coping skills and recurring depression make for a bitter struggle to recapture that contentment with life.  I probably shouldn’t say “lack of coping skills”.  More accurately, it is my own failure to put the coping skills I have learned over years of therapy and rehabilitation to use on a daily basis.  However, getting down on myself and dwelling on my shortcomings is not going to be productive in any way.  Just looking at my handwriting at this moment reinforces in my mind the effect that negativity has on my spirit and my resolve.  
Positivity, Positivity, Positivity!! What is going to keep my mind and heart focused on this goal of contentment with my life?  I truly believe it is going to be building my own personal relationship with God.  I saw God and I felt God in my complication-free pregnancy with Type 1 diabetes.  I saw and I felt God when I stopped breathing during my C-Section and then came out of it.  I saw and I felt God when I held Katie and brought her home happy and completely healthy.
I don’t see and feel God anymore, haven’t for a very long time. Or, again more accurately, I have moments when I think I see and feel Him but somehow, for some reason, I convince myself that it is not Him I am seeing and feeling.  Believing, getting your hopes up time and time again only to have them dashed is debilitating.  You don’t want to hope anymore.  You don’t see the point.  It is easier to stay down.  You want to make things easier.  The fall and then clawing your way back up is exhausting.  I liken it having a low blood sugar.  Repeatedly bringing yourself out of a low blood sugar, returning to that healthy reading, clearing the fog, sometimes seems like more trouble than it is worth.  Why not just stay a little higher and avoid it altogether?
But I always, always, always want to return to that contentment.  I want to know the presence of God.  I want to believe it.  I want to have faith.  Where is lasting faith? How do you obtain it? That is my journey.  I want that to be my fixation.  I want to have the physical and mental stamina to push the negativity aside, to squash it when it reappears.  I think that wanting it my first step.  Caring about it is my first step.
I am working on my daily relationship with God.  Moment to moment I am inserting Him into everything I do and feel.  His word needs to be everywhere if I am to feel triumphant again.